A letter to my feminist Republican father

Could my old school Republican father vote a straight party ticket that includes Donald Trump, an outright misogynist? My father is not only the father of two feminist women—he is the grandfather of six girls. This question haunts me.

​Over the past few weeks I have been writing my father a letter about Donald Trump. This letter will not stop writing itself in my head. The letter continues where I left off every time my mind has an opportunity to wander. This letter is edited internally as I brush my teeth. New words are added, paragraphs erased as I fall asleep at night. And why? Simply, my father has voted a straight Republican ticket as long as I can remember. My father has also raised three feminists.

I have never had any intention of sending this letter. And I have not sent it, yet. In fact, I'm hoping that, since my father is not Facebook savvy, he will never read this blog. If you know my father, please don't alert him.

So why would I publish this letter if I think my father is better off never reading it? Because I know I am not alone. Many people across America have been writing similar letters in their heads to their relatives, friends, co-workers. There is an entire group of citizens, not just liberal feminist writers, who are struggling with this current election. And when I say struggling, I mean deeply internally struggling with how anyone, especially those they love and respect, could vote for Trump. I hope this letter gives voice to some of us who feel isolated in our struggle.

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Before you read my letter, there a few things you should know about my father. First, he is what I would describe as an “old school Republican.” He believes in small government and low taxes, and embraces the “pull yourself up by your own boot strap” philosophy. He is not an evangelical Christian. He's not even a social conservative. He is slower to accept social change, but he is never against it. Second, my father is exceptionally rational. He finds terrorism horrid, but also knows that driving a car is more dangerous. He doesn't think Muslims should be thrown out of the country because less than 1% are radicalized. 

The last thing you should know about my father is that he reared me. I hold him solely responsible for my feminist views. He reared my sister and me to be independent, capable women: we could back up our family tractor, hook it up to heavy farm equipment, hay the field, then go home and french braid our hair for a date. He taught us how to balance our checkbooks, throw bails of hay to a second story loft, and throw a football. He watched approvingly as we would take on any man in verbal debate. He invested a great deal of hard-earned money in our education, and he is quite proud that his two daughters have master’s degrees. 

Could my old school Republican father vote a straight party ticket that includes Donald Trump, an outright misogynist? My father is not only the father of two feminist women—he is the grandfather of six girls. This question haunts me.
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Dear Dad, 

​This is a terribly difficult letter to write. I hope you know that the reason I am writing it is first and foremost is because I love and respect you. 

Donald Trump is a misogynist. Ironically, if you look up “misogynist” in Webster’s dictionary online, I kid you not, a picture of Donald Trump appears. Others are in agreement. In my opinion, there is no question that he is a misogynist when you read the many things he has said about women and learn how he has treated the women in his life, from his wives to the beauty contestants he had affairs with—frequently while he was married. You can read more about what’s he’s said about women if you would like. You can start here.  

You, on the other hand, John Henrich, are not a misogynist. As much as it will make you laugh to read this, you are actually a feminist. And yes dad, men can be feminists. Feminism simply defined is the belief that men and women should have equal rights and equal opportunities. Feminism has nothing to do with burning bras or hating men. I am convinced you are a feminist because of the way that you reared me. From an early age, I knew I was just as important to you as my brothers. You taught me that regardless of my gender I could do anything, from playing sports, to driving farm equipment, to achieving academically. I knew this because you expected as much from me as you expected from everyone. In fact, you put more money into my education than into my siblings’. And most importantly, you did not educate me in the hope that I would become a wife and mother; you educated me with the expectation that I would become a leader.

For this reason I ask you to seriously consider not voting for Donald Trump this November. In no way do I expect you to vote for Hillary Clinton. I like political diversity and reasoned disagreement; it strengthens our democracy. I do not wish for you to embrace my liberal politics. But I would ask you to reconsider your allegiance to the Republican Party this election cycle—or at least to its Presidential nominee. Voting for Donald Trump is a vote against the person I believe you are, a man who fully values women as much as men. I am positive that if Donald Trump were my next door neighbor, you would pay for a very tall fence to be erected between his house and mine, because you would not want your granddaughter Lydia to be exposed to such a degrading attitude toward women.  

​With much love, abby

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