<![CDATA[Grace Community Boston - Blog]]>Sun, 19 Apr 2026 01:57:11 -0700Weebly<![CDATA[The Bible & Toni’ Morrison’s Beloved]]>Tue, 27 Jan 2026 16:22:02 GMThttps://www.gracecommunityboston.org/blog/the-bible-toni-morrisons-belovedSome of the most beautiful passages I have ever read, I have discovered in the Newer Testament. Some of the most angering, oppressive passages I have read, also are in the Newer Testament. And then there is the Hebrew Scriptures. I have discovered abiding comfort in the Psalms, compelling arguments for equality in the prophets AND horrific genocide, violence, and tales of the dismembering of women in the Hebrew Scriptures. The Christian Bible is complicated.

Recently I learned that Toni Morrison’s novel, Beloved, has been banned by some school districts. I was completely confused. Had those who banned Beloved read the novel in full? The reasons cited are bestiality, infanticide, sex, and violence. Really?  Having read both the Bible and Beloved cover to cover I can attest that Beloved, like the Bible, is a complicated book. I can also assure you that there is less infanticide, sex, and violence in Beloved than in the Bible. I haven’t studied Biblical bestiality thoroughly enough to comment.

The Open Canon:  As scholars commonly remind us,  the word “bible” is an Anglicization of a Greek word, biblia better translated as “library.” Hence, the biblical canon is a set of books (think everything from Genesis to Paul’s letter to the church in Corinth) which the early Christian community decided represented God’s written word. It is essential to remember, the canonized Bible was written, rewritten, and edited by an assortment of varying communities and individuals over many centuries. The final determination of which texts were canonized (made it into the Bible) was decided by a group of powerful men. This should surprise no one.

Many Christians over the past century, especially in the progressive Christian church, have argued that the canon is not closed, yet open. I align with this group.
My reasons for believing in an open cannon are three fold:
#1 The many diverse voices and communities, who had something significant to say in written form about God’s active presence in the world, including Jesus’ life and ministry, were not included in the Bible. When my parents were learning about American History in their 1950’s high schools, they did learn the American Indian’s perspective, for example, of the west ward expansion. My parents learned an incomplete American history. In the same way, the Bible is an incomplete documentation of God’s people. 
#2 God is still speaking. Period. I believe in an ever present, active God.
#3 As a woman, I find the Bible woefully lacking. As a feminist, I find the Bible downright disconcerting. I yearn for more feminine voices within the Biblical narrative. I seek out these voices in other written forms. 

Throughout my faith journey, I have continually asked myself, what books, what works of art, what songs, what poems would I add to the Biblical Canon? I have always had one consistent answer: Beloved. I do not expect others to agree with me. I do not write this blog even to convince you to add it to your personal cannon. Instead, you will have to read it for yourself. All I can simply say is this: I reference passages, images and narratives in Beloved as frequently as the Bible. Don’t freak out. God has yet to smite me. Instead, I believe the Biblical narrative has had such a profound impact on my thinking that I seek out similarly revelatory and similar themes in other books. Toni Morrison has captured powerfully what it means to survive, love, continue when violence breaks one’s soul, forgive, and remember. ]]><![CDATA[An Easter Sermon: Possibility and Love]]>Thu, 15 May 2025 16:21:34 GMThttps://www.gracecommunityboston.org/blog/an-easter-sermon-possibility-and-lovePicture
Easter Sermon 2025
Rev. Abigail A. Henrich
@abbyhenrich

There is an old story in Christianity. 
It goes like this:
Eve ate the apple. We are all sinners. All broken. All terrible. Humanity is a disaster. Individuals are really rotten at the core. It’s called original sin.

There is another story in our faith tradition. It is scriptural, but let me be clear it is not the only explanation in the Newer Testament. Instead it is one of many interpretations of the holy week story, specifically the cross. Augustine made it really famous in the 4th century and it is THE prevalent story of the modern Christian church. 
It goes like this:
We are so terrible that God needs to sacrifice something on our behalf to forgive us. It’s called substitutionary atonement. You know, Jesus died on the cross for YOUR sins.

As a kid I wondered why if God loved me so much God couldn’t just forgive me instead of deciding killing Jesus was a good idea…..

Finally there is another story that is circulating in our country and in most American Christian churches. Let me be very very clear this story is not found in the Bible.
It goes like this:
Things are changing at a rapid pace. We live in a global, multicultural, multi racial, inner religious country. The only response is FEAR. We should close our hearts. Close our homes. Close our schools and libraries. And we should without question close our borders and harbors. The world is a terribly fearful place. And the only people to trust are people who look like you, worship like you, and were born in this country. It’s called white christian nationalism. 

I want to tell you a different story. I want to tell you the story of a prophet named Jesus. I want to tell you the story of a man who lived in Nazareth and traveled all over the Galilean countryside teaching and healing and preaching good news to the outcast, the forgotten, the least. And then this man, this prophet, this teacher, this political-social radical, this community organizer entered Jerusalem during the week of Passover. 

This is the story of Holy Week. 
It is a story of a final meal with friends, a cup and loaf of bread shared.
It is a story of a leader washing his followers feet and commanding them to love one another.
It is a story of a man alone, praying, afraid of what is to come.
It is a story of a betrayal.
And it is a story of a violent empire, an unjust trial, and a state sponsored execution on the cross.
It is a story of a community devastated by the death of their beloved friend and leader.
It is a story of one who petitions for Jesus’s body and has it laid in a tomb.
And it is a story of women eager to prepare his body for burial, but who must wait on account of the sabbath.
Finally it is a story of the unexpected. 
It is a story of a stone rolled back and an empty tomb.
It is a story of New Possibilities. 

This story is called EASTER.

This is WHY we remember the person of Jesus and his life and ministry. This is why all over the globe people gather this day to sing Alleluia! This is why a small band of misfits-- tax collectors, fishermen, lepers, hemorrhaging women-- transformed into a movement.

I think original sin and substitutionary atonement are pretty terrible sales pitches. I mean really, who wants to hear that stuff? And what Christian marketing executive approved of this? These stories did not propel the gospel of Jesus onto the international stage. Instead, they were most likely employed for empire, so that once again the powerful could control the least.

The story of Easter propelled the small group from the Galilean countryside following a socio-political reformer into a world religion. Without the resurrection there would be no Christianity. 

And the Easter story is NOT about the depravity of humankind or violence. The Easter story is a story of possibility and love.

I want to say this again: Possibility and Love. Not depravity or violence. Possibility and Love. 

So why should we bother? Why should we embrace this story opposed to the others I have told you? Because maybe like me you need some more love, some more belief in the possibility of what can happen, what can be.

When Jesus died everyone thought it was over. No one believed there was anything more. The word possibility wasn’t in their vocabulary. And yet here we are.

So what possibility do you need to see, embrace, hope for, pray for, work for?

Is it the possibility of sobriety?
Is it the possibility of mending a broken relationship?
Is it the possibility of finally loving yourself as God loves you?
Is it the possibility of a community bound together in love instead of division?
Is it the possibility of defeating fear and hate and replacing it with a love so wide, so big that there is no turning back?
What is the possibility before you this morning? This day? This week? This month? This year? This lifetime? For if we are an Easter people, if we are people of the Easter Story and not people of depravity and fear and violence, what possibilities shall we seek?

I want to leave you with a final story. It is a story of a minority neighborhood in North Charleston. This neighborhood was dominated by a narrative they did not write or speak, but still this narrative--this story-- was told to everyone else. And the narrative was one that I am sure is familiar to all of us. Poor neighborhoods have no potential. They are filled with listless people who do not care. They are violent and dangerous and why bother investing? 

But my friends, with the backing of the Baptist Cooperative, began an afterschool program there…. And well with that one step everything changed. 
  • Homeownership
  • Literacy Classes
  • Freedom Summer Camp
  • A board of directors filled with leaders from the neighborhood
  • Small businesses
  • Graduates from the after school program leading the after school program

Here is the choice. Do you want to remain stuck in a hopeless narrative? A narrative that roots itself in violence and fear. Do you want to just hunker down and hold on?

Or do you want to EMBRACE the possibility of what may be because LOVE does and will always change everything? EVERYTHING. Make that choice here and right now. 
]]><![CDATA[What to do when democracy is eroding?]]>Thu, 24 Apr 2025 16:18:49 GMThttps://www.gracecommunityboston.org/blog/what-to-do-when-democracy-is-erodingIt’s bad. It’s really bad. 
What are we to do when we are watching our democracy erode around us?

First, you ask your dog walking buddies. Second, you share the list we created walking the dogs. If you read further on, each suggestion is explained at length.
Picture
  1. Remember joy is resistance. Seek out and create joy every chance you get. Make sure you have a steady stream of delight in each day from watching comedy, to sharing the company of a good friend, to enjoying a creative moment, to even starting a new hobby. If our lives are filled with doom and gloom we will never survive. That said, #2 is important too for the long haul. Read on… 
  2. Rest & Drink plenty of water because this is a long fight. We’ve got to be ready to dig in. Seriously. This hellscape could continue for four more years. There will be more constitutional crises, economic uncertainty, and arrests. If we are tired, we will not be able to accomplish anything. Rest!  
  3. Speak Up and Speak Out. Silence is no longer an option. Attend protests. Join an activist group. Learn how to use your voice, even if you are a shy person. That could be by writing postcards, signing petitions, telling your Aunt Wilda at the dinner table that actually, you are more concerned with a measel’s outbreak than trans athletes, leading protest chants at marches, recording ICE arrests on your phone. We cannot remain silent.
  4. Know your rights! And make sure others, both citizens and undocumented neighbors know their rights. A crash course is at the bottom of this blog. Also, please share these cards with every undocumented person you know! Make sure to access the best language for the individual(s) you are helping. 
  5. Be a Good Neighbor. It’s pretty simple, but it is also radical. Watch out for your neighbor. Help your neighbor. Protect your neighbor. Can you imagine if everyone was a good neighbor in every place torn apart by genocide and civil war? Imagine how different human history would be? 
  6. Stay in your lane. Do the things that you are good at. Affect the change you can. Let the constitutional lawyers argue in court. Let the community organizers gather people together to protest. What are you good at? What are your expertise? Whatever it is, do it well. If we all shared our gifts with the greater community, our resistance could be nearly perfect. 
  7. Believe in and harness the power of our Democracy. Our democracy is NOT broken. Our system has not failed for 250 years. It’s imperfect, but it is not broken. Take a quick YouTube crash course in the constitution and bill of rights. 
  8. Focus. You cannot save the world or our country in one day. But you can make a difference in one person’s life. It is easy to become overwhelmed. Affect change and fight for our democracy in your corner of your community.
  9. Harness your economic power and use it wisely. Do your research and boycott large corporations. And even small ones who fly Trump flags in their place of business.  Make sure your money is not used to support Trump’s economic agenda and war chest.
  10. Be aware of your privilege. Privilege does not mean you have had an easy life. Privilege is being aware of the status you possess as a result of your gender, class, race, and many other societal norms. For example, if you are a white, straight, and rich woman (me), you could probably get arrested and be fine. You would have the resources for a legal defense. In all likelihood you would not be deported. In the same way, queer, BIPOC and or immigrant communities might not feel safe to march in a protest. What would happen to them if they were arrested?  Being aware of this privilege and lack of it will keep you safe and help you keep others safe.

CRASH COURSE IN CITIZEN RIGHTS
American Citizen’s Fundamental Freedoms: 
Freedom of Religion:
The right to practice or not practice any religion, or to have no religious beliefs at all. 
Freedom of Speech:
The right to express oneself freely without government interference, including the right to speak, write, and publish. 
  • Freedom of the Press:
    The right to disseminate information and opinions without government censorship. 
  • Freedom of Assembly:
    The right to gather peacefully with others to advocate for a cause or protest. 
  • Freedom to Petition the Government:
    The right to seek redress of grievances from the government. 
We also have rights in the Legal System:
  • Right to a Fair Trial: The right to a fair and impartial trial, including the right to a jury trial.
  • Right to Due Process: The right to be treated fairly and justly by the legal system.
  • Right to be Free from Unreasonable Search and Seizure: The right to have your property protected from unreasonable searches and seizures by the government.
  • Right to Counsel: The right to have legal representation if accused of a crime. 
Finally, we have Political Rights:
  • Right to Vote: The right to participate in elections for public officials. 
  • Right to Run for Elected Office: The right to seek public office. 
  • Right to Petition the Government: The right to advocate for your interests and seek changes in government policy. 
  • Freedom from Discrimination: The right to be treated equally regardless of race, religion, gender, national origin, or other protected characteristics. 

Non Citizens have the following Rights in our country:
  • Right to due process of law: This means that non-citizens are entitled to fair treatment under the law, including the right to a fair hearing before being deported. 
  • Right to legal counsel: Non-citizens have the right to legal representation in immigration proceedings. 
  • Right to freedom of speech and religion: Non-citizens are protected by the First Amendment. 
  • Right to be free from unreasonable searches and seizures: The Fourth Amendment protects non-citizens from unwarranted searches. 
  • Right to be with their family: Jacob Fuchsberg Law Firm and other sources discuss the importance of family integrity for undocumented immigrants. 
  • Right to education: While there's no constitutional right to education, undocumented children are generally allowed to attend public schools. 
  • Right to a safe work environment: The Occupational Safety and Health Act (OSHA) protects all workers, including non-citizens, from unsafe working conditions. 
  • Right to be paid fairly: The Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) prohibits discrimination based on immigration status, meaning non-citizens have the right to be paid the same wages for the same work as U.S. citizens. 

]]><![CDATA[Why do they hate me?]]>Thu, 27 Mar 2025 17:36:10 GMThttps://www.gracecommunityboston.org/blog/why-do-they-hate-mePicture
The following is a story about serving at Rose’s Bounty this past Friday, March 21, 2025.

We had enough volunteers Friday. This freed me to walk up and down the registration line handing out “know your rights” red cards asking, “Are you or anyone in your community concerned about immigration.” I received three notable responses:
  • No. Most folks who felt they were safe because of the color of their skin or the color of their passport, acknowledge a sense of sadness, mingled with guilt, that others were not safe.
  • Yes. Many trusting eyes met mine, thanking me for the work we were doing at the pantry. Yes they would like to take some red cards for themselves, their neighbors, their family members. Usually these “yeses” were followed with stories of immigration statuses in limbo, neighbors who would not leave their apartments, or family members who were detained. The visible fear, mixed with a relief that there were people who cared, was palpable. My eyes often filled with tears as I left the client with a red card and the words, “You belong here. We want you here.”
  • Silence. Behind that silence was often a wordless bottled-up fear. I estimate I placed my hand gently on about 10 clients and spoke the words, “You belong here.” It was my prayer and a cry to God. Many did not understand my words, but I know that these undocumented citizens understood that there was a place where they were welcome.  My hand and welled-up-eyes communicated that there were others who saw their flight, even if we did not understand its depth. Human connection was all I could offer.

There were two responses that did not fit into the above categories.

One woman did not respond with the usual “thank you” nor did she remain silent, instead she looked at me with utter innocent confusion, “Why are they doing this? We are not all criminals. Do they really think we are criminals? I have been in this country for X years and I have never done anything but work. I pay my taxes. I don’t understand. Why do they hate us?” I had no response. I had only tears rolling down my face as I responded, “I don’t know. I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong.” This woman’s disbelief confirmed for me that our current administration’s treatment of immigrants has to do with only one thing: hate. Racism too, but hate feeds racism. 

Another woman exploded. The raw emotional anguish I witnessed haunts me still. I tried to calm her, but I realized quickly that not only was calming her fruitless, it also wasn’t a helpful response. This woman’s suffering needed to be expressed and she needed someone to listen. Through tearful shouts she declared, “I have been wiping their parents’ butts for 25 years. They do not want to take care of their parents. They do not do the things for their parents that I do. Why do they hate me?” As I left this woman, Jesus words on the cross wove with her words, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why do you hate me?”

The weight of the federal administration's attack on our communities was evident on Friday. The immigrants I spoke to, waiting in line for fresh produce and meat and dependable food staples, are simply humans. They are members of our community. They work. They raise their families. They laugh. They snuggle in bed on cold winter days and rejoice when spring arrives. And they cry. They rage. They wonder: how can this be happening in a country that claims to be a democracy? How can this happen in a country that declares it is Christian?
]]><![CDATA[LOVE your IMMIGRANT Neighbor: Practical steps to support undocumented citizens and build community. 4th Blog of 4]]>Tue, 11 Mar 2025 15:44:37 GMThttps://www.gracecommunityboston.org/blog/love-your-immigrant-neighbor-practical-steps-to-support-undocumented-citizens-and-build-community-4th-blog-of-4"For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me" -Matthew 25:31-40

FOURTH OF FOUR BLOGS: Explain to your immigrant neighbor that they have rights regardless of their immigration status.
You are an advocate! You have created a relationship with an undocumented member of your community. You have even helped them organize their legal documents. Now it is time again to remind your undocumented neighbor that they do have rights, even though in this current political environment it feels like they do not. Teach them the following:

Know Your Rights: The ACLU emphasizes that regardless of immigration status, individuals have constitutional rights, including the right to due process, freedom from unreasonable searches and seizures, and protection from discrimination.
 
Your rights:
  • You have the right to remain silent and do not have to discuss your immigration or citizenship status with police, immigration agents, or other officials. Anything you tell an officer can later be used against you in immigration court.
  • If you are not a U.S. citizen and an immigration agent requests your immigration papers, you must show them if you have them with you.
  • If an immigration agent asks if they can search you, you have the right to say no. Agents do not have the right to search you or your belongings without your consent or probable cause.
  • If you’re over 18, carry your papers with you at all times. If you don’t have them, tell the officer that you want to remain silent, or that you want to consult a lawyer before answering any questions.

Don't be afraid to exercise your rights: If you are approached by law enforcement, you have the right to remain silent, to ask for an attorney, and to refuse to answer questions that could incriminate you. 

How to reduce risk to yourself if a law enforcement agent asks about your immigration status:
  • Stay calm. Don’t run, argue, resist, or obstruct the officer, even if you believe your rights are being violated. Keep your hands where the police can see them.
  • Don’t lie about your status or provide false documents.
  • If you are driving and are pulled over, the officer can require you to show your license, vehicle registration and proof of insurance, but you don’t have to answer questions about your immigration status.

Additional resources
Together, we can confront this moment. We can defend our values. We can assert our power. We can protect our community. God, and time, are on our side.

]]><![CDATA[LOVE your IMMIGRANT Neighbor: Practical steps to support undocumented citizens and build community. 3rd Blog of 4]]>Wed, 05 Mar 2025 16:27:07 GMThttps://www.gracecommunityboston.org/blog/love-your-immigrant-neighbor-practical-steps-to-support-undocumented-citizens-and-build-community-3rd-blog-of-4"God defends the cause of the orphan and the widow, and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing." -Deuteronomy 10:18-19 

THIRD OF FOUR BLOGS: Obtain Legal Documents and Organize Important Information
You have identified yourself as an advocate for immigrants and maybe blessedly you have built an unexpected and beautiful relationship with an undocumented person or an undocumented community. What next?

There are a number of legal documents that undocumented citizens should have in order. These documents do not require a lawyer. They require a notary. It is hard to know exactly what legal documents each individual immigrant should have. Here are a few that my research and practical experience suggest are essentials. If you need further information, please visit the ACLU site.

Children:
If you are assisting a family with children under 18 make sure the family has a notarized document indicating legal guardianship. The legal guardian must be a documented American citizen. Why is this necessary if the individual has lots of family around them who will of course take care of their child if they are deported? If an undocumented parent is deported, their child will in all likelihood be placed in a group foster home. It doesn’t matter if that child has many relatives. If these relatives are undocumented, they will not be granted the right to care for this child. This is heartbreakingly painful. Just writing these words makes tears spring to my eyes. It is essential that every child of an undocumented immigrant has a legal document clearly stating who their legal guardian (with citizenship) is. This is a painful topic that many parents cannot bear to speak about, but they must. A legal guardian can make sure a child is safely returned to their parents if deported to their country of origin, or that child can be placed with relatives in their community. Most importantly, a legal guardian can advocate for this child and communicate with this child’s parents.

Make sure all children have a copy of their legal guardianship and know who their guardian is. If the child is too young to be responsible for such paperwork, make sure another childcare provider has these documents. Include in this paper work the name and number of the child’s primary care doctor or any other important medical information, including a list of medications. 

Finally, make sure children know how to contact you or another safe person in their community in case of emergency. Make sure the child has these names and numbers printed in a prominent place in their home and in a safe place in their backpack or with their child care provider.  

Financial Access/Power of Attorney: 
When undocumented citizens are deported they lose all access to the money they have saved in the U.S. if it is in a bank account. There are a few ways to ensure this does not happen. Many immigrants share bank accounts with a trusted friend or family member, ensuring that if they are deported someone will still have access to their account. Another way is for an undocumented citizen to grant a documented citizen power of attorney.  A power of attorney (POA) is a legal document that allows someone (the "agent" or "attorney-in-fact") to act on behalf of another (the "principal") in certain matters, such as financial or healthcare decisions, if the principal is unable to do so themselves. 

Create a list of emergency contacts 
Make sure this list of contacts is shared with family members and trusted individuals. 

Create a folder with the following information:
  • Copies with everything mentioned above: guardianship, POA, bank account information, emergency contacts
  • Copies of passports, licenses, and birth certificates
  • Attorney information 
  • Medical information, including a list of any medication and or serious medical conditions.

With permission from the undocumented citizen, make copies of all important documents and keep them in a safe place in your home for your immigrant neighbor. In fact, make a couple of copies. Depending on who the immigrant neighbor trusts, it's good to have a few people with access to this information, such as family members, trusted neighbors and friends, pastor, etc.

Further documents that our immigrant neighbors should ALWAYS carry with them:
  • Identification documents, such as a passport or driver's license.
  • If they have legal status, they should provide proof of their legal status, such as a green card or visa. 
  • Don't carry falsified documents: Never carry or use fake documents, as this can lead to legal consequences. 
]]><![CDATA[LOVE your IMMIGRANT Neighbor: Practical steps to support undocumented citizens and build community. 2nd Blog of 4]]>Thu, 27 Feb 2025 18:44:47 GMThttps://www.gracecommunityboston.org/blog/love-your-immigrant-neighbor-practical-steps-to-support-undocumented-citizens-and-build-community-2nd-blog-of-4SECOND OF FOUR BLOGS:  
Build Individual Relationship with Immigrants
"Do not forget to entertain strangers,
for by doing so some have entertained angels without realizing it." 
-Hebrews 13:2

You have made the choice to be an immigrant advocate. You believe building communities of love, welcome, and support are the only ways forward in this unrecognizable political landscape. You have reached out to folks in your community you believe might be undocumented. You have handed out lots of red cards. What next?

First: Re-check in with your undocumented neighbors and friends. Do not send them explicit texts stating their status, but you can send communications like this, “Just making sure you are okay. I can only imagine how exhausting this must all be.”

Second: Ask if there is something specific you can do to ease their life. 
Here are some examples:

  • See if they want to place a pick-up order for their groceries. Offer to deliver to them. Often shopping is incredibly fear-inducing for undocumented immigrants. 
  • See if there is a meeting at their child’s school they are nervous about going to alone. Offer to go with them.
  • Do they need any documents notarized? Offer to make an appointment at your local library (usually libraries offer this service) and go with them especially if they need another witness for their documents.
  • Offer to be a reference for them with any place of employment.
  • Share a list with them of service providers, from doctors to plumbers, who you know are safe.

Third: Find out their birthday. Yes, really. How will this keep them safe? It won’t, but it will bind up their broken hearts. Knowing someone’s birthday is almost a universal, cross-cultural way to express that an individual life matters. If they wonder why you are asking, simply explain you want to make sure that you remember that day. If they are concerned you might be fishing for personal information, assure them you don’t need the year, just the month and day. Write that day down in your calendar. Make sure you do not forget it. On that day do whatever feels right from sending a card to baking a cake. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that you have indicated to this person that they matter and that you plan on celebrating their birthday in the future with them.

Fourth: Invite them to your home for pizza and games. Or lasagna and a movie. Or tea and biscuits. Why? This simple act of community will remind them they belong and there are places where they are safe and valued. Being in your home might feel like a mini-vacation from the fear they experience every day. You can not begin to imagine how this simple act will bind up their hearts.
This particular act might not feel like advocacy. It might not even feel like you are doing enough. You, like me, might want to start marching in the streets and screaming at the top of your lungs. I hear you. But remember, the only way forward is together. The only way to defeat hate is with love. This will be a long four years. We need to build as much loving-community in as many pockets of our life as we can. These four steps might be more important than marching. (BTW please still march with really, really big signs!)
]]><![CDATA[LOVE your IMMIGRANT Neighbor: Practical steps to support undocumented citizens and build community. 1st Blog of 4]]>Fri, 14 Feb 2025 15:20:10 GMThttps://www.gracecommunityboston.org/blog/love-your-immigrant-neighbor-practical-steps-to-support-undocumented-citizens-and-build-community-1st-blog-of-4FIRST OF FOUR BLOGS:
​Identify Yourself as an Advocate
"When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them. The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God."  Leviticus 19:33-34 Picture
We have some clear choices before us: look away, hunker down and convince yourself and those you love that whatever the new administration is doing will not affect you. History tells us this is not a wise choice. An alternative choice is to build community wherever you are. In fact, I believe as a follower of Jesus, building community is our best choice as we boldly stand up to hate and fear.

Our undocumented neighbors need our protection. They are afraid. Those who once had protected status find their legal rights stripped. Recently documented citizens find themselves questioned because of their accents or brown skin. Undocumented migrants, desperately seeking work and fleeing unstable countries, have been categorized as dangerous criminals, even though they are less likely to commit crimes than native born citizens (according to the FBI). 

We can do something. We can build a protective community around immigrants now.
Over the next few weeks, I will be posting in this blog simple things you can do to protect your undocumented neighbors.

FIRST OF FOUR BLOGS: Identify Yourself as an Advocate

Do you know someone who might be undocumented? This could be anyone: a mother in the school pickup line, an across the hall neighbor, the barista at your local coffee shop, a fellow classmate, or a co-worker. If you know nothing about their immigration status, that is fine. Now is not the time to be concerned you might offend someone. Have a conversation with this person. Be careful to do it privately. If having a private word with someone is not possible, skip ahead to my second set of suggestions.

BEFORE you do anything, make sure to print off RED CARDS here. Red cards inform immigrants of their legal rights. Keep a few of these cards in your wallet, car, purse, back pack. Disseminating these cards is one of the most important things we can do to support our undocumented neighbors.

First: Clearly identify yourself as an advocate with any of the following statements:
  • “I want you to know whatever your status as an immigrant, you are welcome here.”
  • “I don’t know what you are facing right now, but please know if you need help, I am ready to support you.”

Remember: this person might be documented. It’s impossible to know who is and who isn’t. You would be surprised by the number of undocumented immigrants in our communities who are white and don’t look like the caricature “border-crossers” MAGA has demonized. Use whatever words feel comfortable to you; simply make it clear you are safe!

Second: If the individual responds with fear, verbally or physically, do not push. Quietly leave them a red card. If they do not have your contact information, leave that as well. Finally, before you leave, tell them again that you are grateful they are in your community.

Third: If the individual responds with hope and relief, hand them a red card and tell them their rights. The #1 most important thing we can tell undocumented immigrants is the following: You do not need to open your door for ICE ever. For now, (this could change quickly), ICE can only obtain warrants through a legal process. Tell them again: do not open your door. Instruct them only to open their door for people they know. If they do not have a way to identify who is on the other side of their door, tell them to have a code word for all their friends and family. Finally, tell them to keep their doors locked at all times.

Fourth: Make it clear that if for any reason ICE comes to their place of work or anywhere else, they do not have to speak with ICE. Encourage them to come up with plans for anywhere they frequent. For example, if they are at their workplace, where can they go to avoid ICE? If they are grocery shopping, do they know where the nearest bathroom is? Again, remind them that their constitutional rights protect them, even as undocumented citizens. They DO NOT have to speak with an ICE agent.

Fifth: Finish the conversation and ask if you can meet again. Acknowledge that everything you told them is a lot and you understand they might feel overwhelmed. Make sure they have your contact info.

Here is an ALTERNATIVE plan to identify yourself as an advocate to someone you can not have a private word with:
The last thing we want to do to an undocumented person is “out them” in a public setting. That said, we cannot let this fear keep us from getting them valuable information. Each situation will be different. Know your setting. The best thing you can do is make sure this individual receives a red card and your contact information. Perhaps hand them a card. Inside the card simply write that you are an advocate and concerned about their safety. Somehow, make contact. You might be the only advocate they know.

 Learn more 
 https://www.aclu.org/know-your-rights/immigrants-rights
https://watsonimmigrationlaw.com/2025/01/22/know-your-rights-if-ice-visits-a-home-employer-or-public-space-english-and-spanish/
]]><![CDATA[An Open Letter to Mothers Raising their Daughters in the Evangelical Church]]>Thu, 09 Jan 2025 20:36:42 GMThttps://www.gracecommunityboston.org/blog/an-open-letter-to-mothers-raising-their-daughters-in-the-evangelical-churchPicture
Dear Mothers,

I am writing this letter because I deeply care about your daughter’s future mental and spiritual health. Raising your daughters in churches in which women are not equal to men will have a detrimental effect on their future. As a pastor, I have counselled innumerable adult women, many of whom were raised in evangelical churches. From what I have witnessed, the effects of growing up female in a patriarchal church range from eating disorders, to low self-esteem, to depression, to a rejection of faith entirely.

I am aware that many who read this letter in the Evangelical church will be quick to point out that women are celebrated in the church and deeply valued. This may be true. Yet when women are not allowed to preach or hold the senior  pastor position, when their sexual behavior and physical appearance are  scrutinized, then girls are not equal to boys and women are not equal to men in that church. Period. 

When women and girls hear messages from men about submission, obedience, and service as sacred behavior, then they are denied their equality. And when women are denied their equality to men, they hear a single message clearly: they are not valued.  
It’s a subtle devaluing that they themselves may not even recognize until their teens, twenties, or thirties. By that point, the damage is done. Such wounds will then harm their own children, perpetuating the cycle of suffering. 

There are two important things you should know about me. First, I was raised in the mainline (centrist, moderate)  Protestant church. This religious culture was imperfect, but it taught me that women are equal to men in all aspects of religious life. I had a male pastor growing up, but this seemed incidental. I was very aware that there were female pastors at other churches. Our small Methodist Church just happened to hire a male pastor. There were women elders and deacons, women serving communion, women leading difficult conversations, and women leading the finance committee. I knew my spiritual life, and potential for religious leadership, had nothing to do with my gender from the very beginning of my spiritual journey.

Second, as an ordained minister, I have spent a surprising amount of time and energy bearing witness to the spiritual abuse endured by women raised in the Evangelical church. I have heard these women’s stories, held their pain, absorbed their anger, assisted in the deconstruction and reconstruction of their theology At times encouraged them to leave the Christian church completely because that was their only plausible path toward healing. I have often thought that I should be on the Evangelical church’s payroll since I have spent a great deal of my professional life cleaning up its messes.

Let us begin with professional research and undeniable facts: 
  • Church attendance has declined among younger women far faster than young men. Just search the above phrase and you will come up with lots of results. Surveys of female “exvangelicals” (those who have left the Evangelical church) reveal that sexual abuse scandals, female disempowerment, and an ongoing insistence on the submission of women to men are driving women out of church, and frequently out of faith itself as well as into abusive relationships and marriages.  
  • Multiple studies have found that self-esteem is highly correlated with lots of good things, and low self-esteem is correlated with lots of bad things. People with high self-esteem have better relationships, less anxiety, and more hope for the future. Numerous studies suggest that the presence of female clergy in a young woman's life can effectively eliminate the existing self-esteem gap observed between genders. UCA Insights 
  • Girls raised in evangelical churches that restrict leadership roles to men may not experience the benefits of higher self-esteem, potentially due to the lack of female role models in positions of authority. This disparity highlights the significant impact that female clergy can have on the psychological and educational development of young women.  Authentic Theology 2018 
  • Churches that exclude women from meaningful religious leadership are facing the greatest number of sexual abuse criminal charges. There are too many articles to reference. Just search Southern Baptist Convention Sexual Abuse. Read for yourself. 
  • HERE’S THE GOOD NEWS: Girls who had female clergy as role models during their upbringing exhibit higher self-esteem, better educational outcomes, and improved employment prospects compared to those who did not. This assertion is detailed in the 2018 book She Preached the Word: Women's Ordination in Modern America by political scientists Benjamin Knoll and Cammie Jo Bolin. Religion News 
  • HERE’S MORE GOOD NEWS: Boys who had female clergy did not report lower self-esteem, possibly because churches that ordain women to leadership also include men in a variety of leadership positions. 
Facts and research are important, but stories are compelling. If you do not find the above facts sufficient to change your mind about raising your daughters in the Evangelical church, please read the stories I have collected from former evangelical women over the years of my ministry. I have changed names and details to protect the anonymity of these women. 

Angela endured years of marital rape because she was her husband’s God chosen help-mate.  The only thing Angela knew about sex before she was married was that she shouldn’t have it. She found herself in a controlling marriage in which sex was not a mutual experience, but one that was demanded of her. Only after years of sexual abuse did Angela realize that sex should be consensual. As a result of marital rape, Angela struggled with years of anxiety. There is no question that Angela’s story exists outside of the evangelical church. What makes her story particularly “evangelical” is that she learned from her church that women were meant to submit to their husbands and endure everything in marriage. In addition, since she never received any sexual education, she knew nothing about consent.

Sarah struggled with an undiagnosed eating disorder and anxiety from the time she was 13. Sarah never received help until she was well into her 30s. At an early age Sarah remembers the overwhelming pressure she felt to be perfect: reserved and respectful, joyful when appropriate, demure when expected, modestly dressed, and receptive to the attentions of her father and male elders above all else. But the external controls were too much, so she controlled the only thing she could: her eating. To this day she does not know how she even survived as long as she did with such extreme anxiety and so little food. When finally she was no longer able to function, her family just prayed for her. Only when her life was in immediate danger did she receive the mental health care she needed. 

Jane survived years of neglect and abuse as a child. In her teenage years, she discovered belonging in an evangelical church. In many ways, this belonging saved Jane. Yet when the real work of healing from childhood trauma and neglect was needed, the church abandoned her. Why? Because they didn’t understand why she needed medication or therapy or help beyond the scope of the church. Why wasn’t she simply happy to be in their community? Why was she seeking outside healing? Was she praying enough? Only after years of therapy did she come to understand that her church offered her belonging only when she conformed to their standards of womanhood.

Kyle did not want to become a mother. She never did. She wasn’t sure she was interested in marriage either. Her church told her again and again that there must be something wrong with her. Being an “Aunt” was not a calling. All women are called to marriage and motherhood, they said. Somehow she found her way out of the evangelical church before she crumpled under the social pressure to marry someone she did not want to spend her life with.

There are more dramatic stories than these four. Stories of childhood rape at the hands of the beloved pastor, an act that was swept under the rug. Meetings with church elders in which daughters listened as their beaten mother was scolded for causing her husband’s violence. Another story that still doesn’t seem possible but is true: when a young woman came out as a lesbian to her pastor, the pastor in her presence prayed that she would die before she would share her life with a woman. 

These stories might be easy to dismiss, just like the facts and research I have shared. I can imagine how easy it is to say, “Not at my church. These things don’t happen.” Everyone always thinks “this won’t happen to me,” or “this won’t happen to my daughter.” And still shouldn’t we do things to protect ourselves against the possibility of these things happening, like we would with wearing seat belts or meeting a first date in a public place?

When you are told as a girl directly or indirectly by your church that you are not equal to men, that deeply abusive and controlling narrative will come out in a multitude of ways in your adult life. Sometimes it is mental or physical health, sometimes an empty or abusive marriage, other times it has more tangible results such as poverty as a result of fewer educational and professional opportunities. Only a few escape unscathed. And everyone of those unscathed “happy” evangelical women will tell you how wonderful the church is. The women who have left will remain silent and afraid.

There is one final result of raising your daughter in the Evangelical church that few people seem to note: your daughter will most likely not attend church as an adult. She will live a life outside of a faith community because it will be the only option she believes is possible for her freedom. 

In closing, why am I writing to you? Why not write to the male leaders of these patriarchal and often abusive churches? The answer is simple: most of them won’t listen but you might.
 
Do what is best for your daughters. Do not be paralyzed by shame or guilt. Do not let your own evangelical church control you or keep you from freeing your daughter. Don’t worry about letting down the members of your church who will call you every week after you stop attending or demand a “biblical” reasoning for why you are leaving. Do what is best for your daughters, especially because no one ever did it for you. 

Be brave. Do not be afraid. Say ‘no more’  to this oppressive culture, because you want better for your daughter(s). And if the church rejects you, if you lose friendships, doesn’t that in itself speak to the kind of people they are? Did Jesus teach us that God is control, or did Jesus teach us that God is Love? 

And if ultimately you feel isolated and scared, reach out to me. I can put you in touch with lots of amazing women who will keep you company through this painful but ultimately liberating process. Healing and wholeness await. God wants them for you, and a good, progressive church--one that treats all genders equally--can help you get there. Let it be. 
]]><![CDATA[National Ask if You Can Come in Day]]>Thu, 10 Oct 2024 14:10:04 GMThttps://www.gracecommunityboston.org/blog/national-ask-if-you-can-come-in-dayPicture
National Coming Out Day is this Friday, October 11th. It’s a pretty great day. 

In my lifetime this day has changed. In college it was a crucial day of activism and expression. Now it feels more like one of many days to celebrate LGBTQ+ lives. At both churches I serve, PRIDE is a big Sunday in June. We celebrate with rainbow communion and special music. National Coming Out day comes and goes without much church attention. I’ve been wondering why?

Is it because the new generation doesn’t really come out anymore? I have plenty of LGBTQ+ youth and young adults in both churches I serve and they have never “come out” to me. They just are. They talk to me openly about their relationships, regardless of gender “status.” (I don’t even know what to write here!)  Status? Orientation? They ask me for relationship advice and they school me in things I have never considered in the false binary world of my youth. But they do not come out to me. They just tell me about who they are in love with. Sometimes I don’t even know if they are LGBTQ+ and it doesn’t matter.

Or does our community skip right by national coming out day because we’ve discovered it is our job to reach out in love, not expect someone to “come out” to us. I didn’t really have the language for this inkling until I saw this post:
​
I’m not suggesting we get rid of National Coming Out Day. But I am also wondering if straight folk, and especially religious folk, should stop expecting the queer community to explain who they are to us. It must be exhausting to explain again and again that you do not fit neatly into a binary, heteronormative world. 

Maybe we need to knock on LGBTQ+ identifying folks’ doors and ask if they would be willing to let us in so we can learn about their lives and their loves and their identities and their experiences. Maybe we need another day--National ASK IF WE CAN ENTER DAY. 

We must create safe spaces in which LGBTQ+ individuals  feel welcome to “come out,” but maybe we also need to ensure LGBTQ+ individuals feel safe letting us in. The Christian community has to ask the hard question, do you trust us to enter into your life? And if the answer is no (which it may very well be, because the church has done some horrible things to LGBTQ+ folk), we must ask, “What do we need to do? How can we change?” And we have to listen and take to heart the responses we receive.  

This isn’t always easy or comfortable work. I have a nonbinary parishioner. They are a parent, a spouse, and a bright, deep thinker. I love having conversations with them, because I am always learning about our shared and differing experiences. We compare notes on parenting children. As a mother of teens, I affirm their parenting of their magnificent little one. In turn, they affirm my struggle to raise teenagers to be good, compassionate humans. In this safe relationship, I am expanding my understanding of what it means to be a nonbinary person/parent/spouse. They correct me when I mess up their pronouns for the tenth time. I feel ashamed of my messing up, but that is not for me to lay at their feet. It's for me to work on. But mostly I am deeply grateful I have been invited in to learn and grow even if it requires clumsy work on my part.

This National Coming Out Day, knock on the door of someone you love who identifies as LGBTQ+ and ask simply and open heartedly, “What can I do better? What can we do better?” I pray their response is honest. I pray you/we/all of us can hear it. I pray that we can all form one community. I pray that one day there will be no more closets to walk into or come out of. 
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